Wanderlust
by lightinside
Summary: Joanna Smith has always dreamed of leaving England and when her brother John procures them both spot on a ship sailing across the Pacific with the hope of a new discovery, Joanna gives in to her wanderlust. She finds herself in Jamestown and discovers that the Powhatan Indians dwelling around her are not savages at all. Does she dare find love amidst war? Or will it destroy her?
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay, so I decided to start this story because I've had major issues with the movie 'Pocahontas' all my life and I have finally decided to fix some of the things that always bothered me. I adore the movie, of course, but my fangirl OCD has finally kicked in. I will write until I am satisfied with the way things turn out and I hope that you guys will enjoy the story as it develops! **_

_**{Thank you Lady Gisborne 15 for being as excited for me about this project as I was!} My posting this is probably extremely premature, as I only started this about four or five hours ago and am making a very rash decision to post it. *cringes* Ohhh well... **_

_**-lightinside**_

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><p>As a little girl in England, I never saw race as much of an issue. People were people and that was the end of it, as it should be for all children. Adults, as well, the way I saw it. Now that I looked back on it, however, I wondered how aware you could be at six years old. How could you know that everyone thought that having skin darker than what society considered normal was something that was labeled as abominable? I never did understand that. I still didn't, to this day, fifteen years later.<p>

And the day my older brother, John – the first of the Smith boys – came flouncing in the house with a smile as big as the moon stretching his lips so wide I thought it must have hurt, I expected that whatever he had to tell my family would be welcomed. That it would make them just as happy as he was.

But it wasn't so.

"John!" My mother gasped as she heard his news, clutching at her heart as she sank down in one of the chairs she had placed around the parlor. "You'll be killed! A journey overseas. To claim land where _they_ are? Those _savages_?"

"Mother!" The word flew from my mouth before I could think to hold my tongue.

"You hush this instant, Joanna." She snapped at me, silencing my protests before turning back to my sympathetic if not irritated brother. "John, you cannot be serious."

"I _am _serious. Ratcliffe has asked me to go along with the ships. Thomas is going, too." John said, throwing Thomas's name in for good measure. "Someone's got to look out for the clumsy rascal."

"And what of your education?" Mother queried, fanning herself lightly. "You'll not be eligible to marry if you've not an education, John! Not a penny to your name either, if you keep up this silly adventuring business."

"Education is out there." John answered coolly. "Besides. Joanna knows enough for the two of us."

I often envied his calm - the way he never seemed to be put off by my mother's eccentricities. I never thought, growing up, that his feathers could ever be ruffled by anything other than sheer excitement. But today, I could tell, that our mother was taxing him in the worst way possible.

"What does Joanna have to do with this, John? This is about _you_. _Your_ future. Joanna will make her own way in the world. She'll marry and be provided for..."

I tuned out with an aggravated sigh. What my mother would never know, or at least never acknowledge, was that my taste for adventure strongly rivaled my brother's. I longed to trade in my dresses for slacks and take to the seas and would do so in an instant if I was given the chance. I didn't want to marry. I didn't want to be provided for. I wanted to provide for myself – to make a life in the way that I saw fit. In this society, though, I knew that I never would. Not unless nothing shy of a miracle happened upon me.

"Mother, Joanna is going with me." John declared evenly, never glancing my way once. "To Jamestown. That's what they'll call it, I suspect. Good name. A little imposing, if I do say so myself, but I suppose it might stick…"

"_JOHN SMITH_!" My mother shouted, leaping from her seat. "Tell me you did not procure your sister a place on that filthy vessel."

John nodded. "We leave tomorrow morning." And before my mother could faint or burst several blood vessels, I saw him wink at me with the smallest smile curling up the corners of his lips.

My brother, I decided then, must have been the angel that I had craved all my life. He'd always been thoughtful and encouraging – the perfect picture of what every older brother should aspire to be. But never had he encouraged me to do what he was suggesting now. Every time I had mentioned it, he was always practical. Always reminding me that I was a lady and that I would be the object of every gentleman's affections, should I carry on in a respectable way.

Taking off on a ship bound for America was hardly respectable – hardly what one would desire in a potential wife, the insatiable need for adventure. But I found that in this one moment, I didn't have it in me to care.

"Joanna!" My mother screeched, cheeks flushed from her own exaggerated excitement. "You're not going are you, sweet? Think of it! A boat full of men for what could be _months!_ And think of the storms, Joanna! There's no guarantee you'll make it home!" When she got no response, my mother finally noticed the dreamy look that I'm sure was permanently plastered on my face. "_Joanna_! Are you listening?"

"I'm going with John." I tried out the words for the first time, letting them sit on my lips for a few moments before I said them again. "I'm leaving England."

I think it was then that my mother decided to faint.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you guys for your response! I can honestly say that I didn't really expect much out of this story in regard to reviews or follows, but I've been pleasantly surprised. Thank you Babyb26 and Lady Gisborne 15 for your reviews! I really hope you enjoy this chapter of Wanderlust! _**

**_-lightinside_**

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><p>The next morning, trying to hide from my mother who insisted upon having the servants packing every petticoat and corset I owned for the trip, I sat in my brother's room while he gathered his things.<p>

"Why did you decide to take me with you?" I asked him quietly. "You never offered me an opportunity like this before, John. You never encouraged me to be like you. Why now?"

John stopped what he was doing and looked at me, hair the color of corn silk framing his face in the same way I'd seen it since he was a boy. "If I had left you here with mother, she would have smothered the adventure out of you and you would be married and a mother yourself by the time I returned. I can't consciously leave you to her mercy, Joanna. I wouldn't be a very good brother." With a teasing smile, he continued packing his things and I was left to ponder over his words.

"Was she right? About there being no other women on the boat?"

John arched one of his eyebrows without ever looking at me. "Scared, little one?"

"Well, no. At least, I don't quite think so. Worried would be a better word, I believe." I confessed, wringing my hands in my lap. "I've never left home. You know that. And though I've always wanted to – I'd gladly have settled for being a deck hand if that meant I had gotten to go with you – I can't help but wonder if everything will truly be alright."

"You'll be with me, Joanna." John reminded me with an easy smile. "Everything will be perfectly fine."

"And… John… even though I am glad to be going, I don't agree with _why_ the exploration was put together. Jamestown, John. Really? The English may have ambitions, but we certainly do not have the right to take away someone else's land by force. No one does."

"Whenever did you become so political?" He asked, surprised by my candor.

"Since all I ever hear about are the supposed 'savages' that we'll be invading." I muttered bitterly. "Why is it so wrong? Why is being different so horrible? I don't understand. They cannot be that bad."

"I agree." John admitted. "But there is so much yet to be discovered, Joanna. Some things… well, sacrifices have to be made on everyone's part in order for the world to advance. It is just how things are."

"I don't like it." I told him. "No one should have to suffer in order for advances to be made. And by suffer, before you interrupt," I said when he opened his mouth, "I mean, for example, invading a strange land and forcing its inhabitants into a state of panic, confusion, and distrust as we usher them out of their homes with fire and threats of war. I know of Ratcliffe and his reputation. It isn't right and I won't support anyone who thinks it is."

John hesitated for a moment, unsure of how he should proceed after what I had said, before breaking out in a broad grin. "Opinionated. Just like father." Though stunned by his statement of our father who had been deceased since I was seven years old, I was moved almost to tears. "He would be so proud of you, Joanna."

"Then I suppose I've done _something_ right." I murmured and stood from my seat, smoothing my dress subconsciously. "I think I've done enough hiding. Mother will come hunt me down if I don't show my face sooner or later."

John laughed, the kind of laugh that was so large the person threw their head back just a little to release it. I knew that meant that John's spirits were soaring. I knew that he was just as glad to be getting out of England as I was. "Talk of war? Fearless. Storms? No problem. And then there's _Mother_…"

"Hush." I giggled, shoving his arm. "You'll be sorry if she catches you dawdling. I think she's decided that if we cannot be persuaded to stay then the sooner we leave and stop sullying the family's name, the better."

"I'm sure." John snickered, tossing his pack over his shoulder. "Always so dramatic."

"Are you going to the docks?"

"Not without you." John promised. "But I do need to see if Thomas is here. I made him swear that he would ride with us." I watched my older brother sigh heavily, as if the responsibility of looking after his younger friend was almost too much. "That boy… It will be a wonder if he still has his head on his shoulders when we return."

I smiled, reflecting on Thomas's never ending and unsurprising tendency to fall over nothing or drop the lightest thing – a vase or a suitcase, even – in just the right way so that it was either broken or damaged beyond repair. It was a wonder to me how he ever made it through childhood alive. "Don't let him forget to tell his mother goodbye."

"He couldn't forget that even if he tried." John told me and glanced around before planting his feet firmly on the stairs. "Better hurry."

"Will do. Go on." I ushered him and hurried toward my doom as I heard my mother fussing over the remaining bags that Charles, our footman, had left sitting outside my door.

I apologized to him quietly as my mother continued to lose what little cool she had left and stormed all about the room, screeching about the clothes not being stored properly, the linens this and that, the room was too dusty – Joanna would suffocate living in a place like this, etc.

For a moment, I could have laughed at the idea that she thought an abundance of dust gathering on the baseboards of my room was what had clouded my judgment and was therefore the entire reason I was abandoning her and going abroad with my brother.

"I'm not abandoning you, mother." I murmured, stepping up to her in the hopes of giving her some small consolation. "I won't be gone long. You will see me again soon."

"Joanna…" She sighed, taking my hand. "Dear, you are making such a mistake."

"Mother…"

"No, darling, listen. I know that I'm not the easiest person to live with. Your father reminded me of it often. He told me to be easier on you – on your brothers, too, but especially you. Joanna, you aren't ready for the world. The cruelty of it."

"I can hardly imagine anything crueler than you referring to people you've never laid eyes on as savages, Mother." I scolded her quietly, but refused to take my eyes off of her so as to convey my message clearly. "It's so shallow, even for you."

"You think me shallow, Joanna?"

"You can be, yes. Among other things."

My mother sighed and patted my hand before releasing it. "So much like your brother. And both of you are like your father. It seems that I will always be outnumbered."

"Yes, it does seem that way." I answered with a gentle smile before kissing her cheek. "I love you, mother. I will see you sooner than you think."

"Go on, dearest." She conceded. "The carriage is waiting on you. John and Thomas are in the parlor, I believe."

No matter my mother's prejudices, I could hardly say that I wasn't going to miss her beyond even what I could fathom. And as I descended the stairs, I was never more aware of that fact that I was in that moment. But as soon as I laid eyes on my brother and on Thomas who stood beside him, eyes alight with the thrill of something new, I realized that I was on my way to a new life. A _better _life than even I could dream up, sitting here in the house so far away from whatever wonders lay over the ocean.

"Are you ready?" John asked me as we walked out to the carriage. "No second thoughts?"

I shook my head with conviction. "No second thoughts."

"Well, then. Time to go." John crowed, tossing his rucksack in the carriage before climbing in after it. Thomas stood on the street for a moment, looking around, and I stood with him as I did the same.

The longer we took to climb inside, the more impatient my brother was becoming. It didn't seem like a full minute had passed before John poked his head out of the window.

"We don't have all day."

And it was then that Thomas and I both seemed to snap out of our daydreams and come to our senses. I climbed in, followed by John's friend, and the door was shut, forever closing us off from our home as we journeyed to the docks.

Ready or not, it was time to do something that I had only read about in books. It was time to give in to my whims – to travel the world.

It was time to let wanderlust take over and steer me where it would. And this time, it was steering me in the direction of Jamestown, an ocean away.

I only hoped that I was ready for what lay beyond.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you guys for your reviews, favorites, and follows! Like I said before, I hadn't really expected a response from this story at all. So far, I've been pleasantly surprised. I'm really enjoying writing this story and I hope that you enjoy reading it just as much! **_

_**Have a great weekend! **_

_**-lightinside**_

_**(p.s. Everyone reading this, I'm assuming, has seen Pocahontas and knows all about her story and her love for John Smith. It is my intention to focus mainly on Joanna and Kocoum throughout this story. If I need to, I'll tie some parts in, but there's another twist I'm adding. Kocoum will not die! I always found that completely unfair and unnecessary and will bring about the almost war between the English and the Powhatan Indians in a different way.)**_

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><p>After four grueling months of storms, sickness, and more, I found myself racing to the edge of the deck and leaning over while the sailors around me prepared the ship to port.<p>

I'd heard the men complaining at night, wishing for their families or their homes, some of them cried from time to time, though no one ever talked about it afterward. John, of course, being the fearless natural-born adventurer and leader that he was, was the life of the lot. All he did was speak of the wonders we would find when we finally did arrive at our destination and now it seemed that everyone was finally beginning to believe him. Some of the more distracted deckhands that I noticed out of the corner of my eye jumped into action when Governor Ratcliffe came bursting on deck from his cabin below with Wiggins and that prissy mutt of the Governor's in tow.

I didn't actually know what purpose Wiggins served other than fetching Ratcliffe miscellaneous nothings and taking care of Percy, the most spoiled and selfish animal I'd ever come in contact with and who obviously thought himself a prince. Wiggins treated him as one, I knew, and there were times like now as I watched him almost sneer at the rest of us through judgmental, beady eyes, that I wanted to douse him with a bucket full of dirty water used to swab the deck.

John, however, always found the dog a delight. I think my brother enjoyed teasing the rascal just as much as I liked daydreaming about tossing him overboard.

"Joanna?" John's voice was suddenly at my ear. "When we land, don't worry about your things. Thomas and the rest will take them into the settlement. I'm heading out before Ratcliffe can assign duties."

"You had better be taking me with you." I muttered discreetly as I stared out over the ocean and at the fast approaching spread of land before us. It was beautiful at first sight. I could see rows and rows of the tallest trees that I had ever laid eyes on – pines, they were, their needles littering the ground. And I expected this kind of beauty to stretch all throughout the settlement, but I was sorely disappointed.

Before my brother could answer, the anchor was lowered and the gangplank was being placed so that we could begin unloading the ship. I saw right away that _Jamestown_ would be nothing more than mud, crudely chopped wood, and a lone flag that stood flapping in the wind when Ratcliffe and the rest of the men were through with it.

Cringing internally at the thought of them digging up this beautiful land that surrounded us, my gaze shifted to the forest and I realized that I wouldn't be staying in the settlement for very long anyway.

"Of course I am." John said finally, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You think I'd leave you here to assassinate Percy?"

I tried not to smile. "What do you take me for?"

"_Not_ an animal lover."

"I like animals!" I shot back seriously and then gave up. "Just not that one."

John laughed softly and threw an arm around my shoulders, helping me through the throng of men so that we could leave the ship. "You're such a snob, Joanna. Hating animals because they hail from society."

"_Spoiled_ animals." I reminded him, gesturing discreetly to the object of my hatred that was now being fitted with a _hat_ by Ratcliffe's assistant. "That dog is plotting to overthrow the human race. I can just see it in his eyes."

"Think we'd be employed under his rule?"

"As footstools, possibly." I told him, giggling openly now. We were well past Ratcliffe and on land, hurrying off to the edge of the forest, when we were stopped by Thomas.

"Hey!" he called, running over to my brother. "Where are you going?"

Instead of waiting for John to answer, I jumped in the conversation with my own reply. "We're going to have a look around. Don't tell anyone where we've gone, Thomas. Ratcliffe especially. You haven't seen us since we left the ship. Understand?"

"Completely." He answered me with conviction, but I could see the uncertainty dancing in his eyes. "When will you be back?"

I glanced at my brother with a smile. "I wouldn't look for us anytime soon."

"What about Indians, John?" Thomas asked fretfully, looking over his shoulder at the Governor as he arrived on the shore. "You're bound to run into some of them if you just go wandering off."

John held up the rifle he'd retrieved from the boat. "If there are any Indians out there, I'll be ready for them."

I didn't dare open my mouth to refute my brother's statement in front of Thomas, but it made me uneasy. Looking from him to the gun in his hand, I realized that he would sooner shoot the Indians than give them a chance. And it was then that my opinion of him began to change.

When Thomas had gone to greet the rest of the men and receive instructions from Ratcliffe, John and I made our escape. I couldn't help but gape, openmouthed, at the new world I suddenly found myself in. As I walked, I dragged my fingers over the bark of the surrounding trees and inhaled the scent of the forest – a salty pine sort of smell that I knew must have been in existence there because the ocean was so near.

"Look at it, Joanna!" My brother exclaimed, laughing wildly as he began to scale one of the trees. "I couldn't design a wilder or a more challenging land! The adventure that's waiting for us… can you feel it?"

As happy as I was to be there, I couldn't help but think about his earlier statement. "John… would you really shoot one of them even if they posed no harm? The Indians. "

"Joanna." He sighed. "Will you please stop worrying and enjoy this for a _moment_?"

"I am enjoying it." I told him, crossing my arms. "It's beautiful. But the intentions that you have are obviously not pure. You never told me that _you_ supported Ratcliffe."

John's spirits seemed to be dampened by my accusations, but he answered me still. "I don't, Joanna. Not entirely."

The fact that he would only deny his involvement in the expedition partially was enough to set me immediately on edge. "Then you admit it! There is some part of you that is so cold and so inhuman that you would rather shoot someone at first glance on the assumption that they would do the same to you given the chance. How _barbarian _of you, John!"

"Barbarian?" John started at the word. "You know nothing of barbarians, sister. And you know nothing of the world or the people in it and yet you would still side with them over me?"

"Grow up, John." I snapped. "It is not about taking sides with _people_, but realizing the difference between the right and the wrong. And right now, you are in the wrong just like everyone else digging up this land! _'For glory, God, and gold'_? This whole venture is based solely on greed and _you knew_!"

"So did you, Joanna, no one had to say it aloud. And you still came along. What does that make you, I wonder?"

Anger boiled in my veins, taking over in an instant as I stabbed a finger in the direction of his rifle. "And what does _that_ make _you_?"

John's eyes wandered to the rifle and back to me, his expression suddenly softening. "Joanna…"

"You know, brother, I would have liked to believe you were different than the rest of them. I thought so highly of you. I still do, God help me. But you are making a mistake – a mistake that you may not recover from should you follow the course you're on now." I was firm, but I felt like underneath my frank words, there was an air of pleading. I wanted my brother to be different, to be _human_. I thought nothing of the other scoundrels who'd made the trip with us other than Thomas, who I knew would never harm another soul unless he was made to do so against his will.

"I _am_ different." John insisted. "If you would just listen –"

"I'm going for a walk. Come along if you wish, but if not, I'd prefer to be left alone for a while."

"Joanna, you cannot just go wandering off alone! You're not the only one out here!"

"And what have I to worry about?" I cried, dress swishing gently despite my animated movements as I waved my arms about in anger. "_Savages_? Oh, yes, John. The very people we're stealing from killing me in cold blood. Imagine how fitting it would be."

John's features contorted in anger at my flippant statement and he grabbed my arm. "_Joanna_ that is enough!"

Yanking my arm away, I managed to throw him slightly off balance just long enough to gain my own footing and begin to storm off. "I'll be back by nightfall."

Before he could open his mouth to call out for me, I was long gone. This was indeed the most reckless thing I could possibly be doing and I was very well aware of that fact as I tore through the forest, swatting at the trees and bushes as I made my way past. The things that were so breathtaking to me a few moments ago were now tainted with my own anger. I was positively _fuming_, but underneath my anger I knew that I was simply hurt. And underneath my hurt, I was becoming more nervous by the second.

I had no idea how to get back to the settlement. I hardly had a clue where I was _going_! I only knew that I was more lost than ever when I finally stopped walking. And I supposed there was some small part of me that feared that the native inhabitants of this new land might spot me and think me dangerous. Though, the more I thought about it, a woman in a dress couldn't seem all that threatening. Maybe strange, but not threatening.

I had nothing to worry about. All I needed to do was calm down and turn back the way I came. But when I tried to do so, I couldn't tell which direction I had come from. It was a forest! Everything looked the same to me.

For a moment, I thought about calling out for my brother, but found that an unwise course of action. If there _were_ people around, then I would give myself away. So, I bit my lip and decided that if I was lost I ought to make the best of it.

I decided then and there that I would be brave and explore, as John and I had initially set out to do.

After all, what could go wrong?


End file.
